humor

My Books For Dummies

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A box of Online Marketing for Dummies book showed in my office today.  Good little book. Going to hand them out to folks and some customers too. 

But it got me thinking.

I really need the books for dummies you see below.  (Something tells me I am not alone.)

Send me please!

Managing Email For Dummies:  I’ve been in “email jail” more than Lindsey Lohan lately.  (Email Jail is when you have wasted so much of your memory that you get locked up and can’t send messages).  Aside from that being kind of Lindsey Lohan’s problem too, I just can’t delete my emails.  What if I need them? And what’s wrong with 3,000 emails in my Inbox anyway?

How To Say “No” For Dummies:  It is just hard to say “No” – “No” to people, an opportunity or a need.   But if you say “Yes” to everything, nothing gets done well and it gets really customized and expensive and people are crazed putting out fires all day because not everything gets done well.  A vicious cycle.   But it’s hard to say “No” because people look at you funny and they don’t smile back. 

How To NOT Multi-Task For Dummies:   Of course we know the truth – True Multi tasking is a lie (and proven a lie by the way) as very, very, very few people can actually do it.  But how do you stop trying?  IM, the Twitter Feed, Email,  a Conference Call, a bird flying by the window etc.  Even in “flesh to flesh” meetings we all bring our gadgets and distract ourselves.  We meet but never “meet”.   I’m not the only one on a conference call who has ever said “Let me think about that” praying to all that is mighty that no one realizes I haven’t a clue what I was just asked about.

How To Go Green At Work For Dummies:   Not sure about this where you work but where I am, I’m afraid to throw something away.    There are  blue buckets and green buckets and tall brown buckets and huge grey buckets with like, locks on em’ everywhere.   There are buckets with holes, buckets with floppy tops and there are the unlabeled nondescript buckets just randomly lying askew in hallways staring at you, judging you as you walk by with nothing to give.  For coffee, should you use paper “tree killing” cups? Or the styrofoam “landfill forever” cups? Or do you use your own cup and waste the water to clean it?  It’s not easy being green, or is it?   

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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The DIFM Kid

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The DIFM Kid

I gave up.   January 1st was the day that I was done.

I gotta just focus on what I do well and maybe do that better.

Now I pay a 14 year old whiz kid (a friend of my son),  to just do technology stuff for me now.  “The DIFM Kid” (Do It For Me) is what I call him. (He is pictured here as rendered by my wife)  I don’t pay him a lot.  But the ROI is unbelievable.

Let him set up the Netflix on the Wii, let him set up my wife’s new Facebook Business Page, let him figure out how to connect the piano keyboard to the PC so we can record some of my son’s music.  Let him figure out why the wifi sync doesn’t work or why we need two Routers now because of all the stuff using whatever it is they use.

I’m not stupid.  Some people (and this is hilarious) think I might be a little on the  “techie” side of the ledger.   ( LOL- that’s called Acting man) but it is getting harder out there.  I don’t have the time,  but I have the need.

I just realized no matter how many manuals and instructions I read, or how many tutorials or videos I watch, I’m not going to get it.  Or I am not going to get it done fast enough.   Or sometimes I am going to make it even worse.   And maybe I need to focus on what I do well already and quit wasting time on stuff I don’t.

And now word has spread about “The DIFM Kid” and me using him.  Now everybody in the extended family is asking for him.  He disappears on Sundays 3 towns over at brother in-law’s house to go set up a new TV or to fix a slow laptop or to connect a transmitter to an outside thermometer.    There’s a darn waiting list for him and texts asking “When is “The DIFM Kid” gonna be around? ”  Things are looking great for him.

There are a lot of us out there feeling that way, consumers and small businesses alike.

You don’t have to look that far to see that Do It For Me services are going to explode not just in my family but in the marketplace too.  I see them every day grow stronger and stronger where I work.    They’ve been around forever,  but now the speed in which new becomes old, or good becomes just OK or keeping up becomes “What the hell just happened?”  is accelerating at a pace where DIY ( Do It Yourself) might soon feel so yesterday. 

That smacks of opportunity.  Be ready- The next DIFM Kid could ( or maybe should) be you. 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

What I Learned Acting In Star Trek

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from wikipedia.org

What I Learned Acting In Star Trek

This last weekend we again watched the recent J.J. Abrams Star Trek film from a couple years back.   Awesome movie.

I thought back to when I was an actor in Star Trek from the original series.   Working with the other actors on set was life changing for me.

But let’s talk about this latest movie version of the series for a minute.  It is a look back to the beginning of Star Trek – a “prequel” view at how the original characters, (i.e. the likes of Shatner, Nimoy and Deforest Kelly) all started out; how they formed their relationships and beliefs.  About why and how they go about “boldly going” so to speak. 

It made me think about my original days involved in Star Trek and what influence it had and has on my life today.  My experience acting in Star Trek was huge.  Those days on the “Trek” set shaped some very important things about me and how I act today. 

Maybe you could learn from it too.

Star Trek wasn’t much of a hit when it originally aired late in the 60’s, but in syndication all through the 1970’s, it rocked. 

I have 3 brothers and we were all growing up in the 70’s.  

William Shatner and his crew had nothing on us; truth was, we were Star Trek.

I was Capt James T. Kirk.  My first officer Spock (played by my older, sci-fi book loving, overtly logical brother Kevin), was incessantly harangued by Dr. “Bones” McCoy played by Brother Paul.   Paul and Kevin kind of had that relationship off set at times, so it was a good fit.  My littlest brother James played the role that offers the focal lesson for today.

James always played (he had no choice) …… “The Guard ….Who Went Bad”

You gotta have a bad guy sometimes.  It makes it more fun.   It gives you a purpose.  It gives you a “mission”; a mission to succeed, to win and sometimes, to save the world.

Baby brother James had a rough time of it when you think about it.  He always started out as part of the “crew” (which he liked) but only for a while (which he didn’t).   His role, being about 7 years old, was always to guard the ship and crew as he slowly moved from room to room.   (One bedroom was the “Bridge”, the other was “SickBay” and the rest of the little house was whatever dangerous planet we beamed down to).  

Suddenly James (aka “The Guard…Who Went Bad”) was forced to “snap” and turn on the crew, putting our mission at risk.  Racing through the house we would chase James, tackle him,  and even though we had only set our phasers to “stun”,  we somehow always killed him – his body blown to bits all over the living room ( somehow that was better than the “disappearing thing” that happened with the phasers on TV.)   Good Times.

Gotta have a bad guy sometimes.   That sticks with me.   I have to have a purpose occasionally, to defeat something.   My guess is you might too.

Maybe you work hard everyday to beat down this Guard Gone Bad sketchy economy thing.   Maybe you strategize, work weekends and nights to knock this thing out and grow the business despite what seems like an incredibly hard mission.

Maybe you work up a sweat by3 o’clock pounding out calls and working hard to have conversations with your customers  because you are fighting this Guard Gone Bad enemy that is someone’s false perception that you “can’t” do something.  Take that Guard Gone Bad; don’t tell me I can’t do something. 

Maybe the Guard Gone Bad for you is the competition.  You won’t let “these other guys” take your market share, take your sales or take your future away from you.  Nope; skip the phaser, give me the photon torpedo.

Maybe the Guard Gone Bad for you is a demon you are battling inside yourself.  And it would be so easy to give up and check into Sick Bay but ain’t no way that is going to happen.  

So maybe ( no assuredly),   there is something good to be said about finding a foil, about finding that enemy to defeat and about creating and/or finding that Guard Gone Bad.  

Thanks to my cast mates in the original series produced in Norwood, MA in late 70’s and especially to James.  Sorry you got killed so many times bro, but at least it wasn’t in vain. 

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

Your Favorites & Mine

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Your Favorites & Mine

Happy Friday and New Year,

Here’s a quick look back at 2011. 

The votes are in (ok the views).  Here are the top 5 (listed 1-5) most viewed blog posts at this site in 2011; presumably your favorites.  Good taste I’d say and thank you for your readership. I’ve added 5 others I’d add as my favorites.

Look around a bit.  What’s the worst that can happen?  Steal something shamelessly and grow the business?  

 

Top 5 Most Read Posts (2011)

You Had Me At Hello (and then, you just let me go)

The Most Powerful Phrase In Sales

Offline, Online & Flatline

My 25 Secrets Of Selling To Small Businesses

Help For Looooonnngg Sales Cycles

 

My 5 Favorite Posts of 2011 (aside from above!) 

Customs Fail and Redemption

From Have To Believe

Crushed

A Training Veteran

Larry Bird?

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

3 Little Words That Will Rock Your World

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It’s not “I love you” cuz’ I don’t.  Not really. 

But no worries ( and sorry if I just rocked your world :)), those aren’t the 3 little word types I’m talking about anyway.

Actually, I’ve got 3 sets of 3 little words that are a heck of a lot better than what we usually say.

These words are perfect for pros in Sales, Marketing, Training, Leadership or just plain ol’ Life in general and should be used all day long.

So good are these 3 little words that they will Rock Your World.  They will do better than that and make Glorious your entire 2012 if you chose to use them liberally. 

So the question is, do you want to improve your performance, have people really love you more, crush quota or get promoted this year?

Oh Hell Yes!  (Um…These are any of the 3 little words I am talking about- but I like them).

Here they are.  Print these and tape this across you’re the face of your smartphone- that way I know you won’t forget them. 

  •  “What I Can”: Oh to have a dollar for every traditional phrase I hear of “there is no way” or “I can’t” or “It is not possible to hit that date” and I’d be super rich.   “What I can” followed by the word “do” or “say” or “give” is so much better.  Simple psychology here- focus on the positives or what is within the realm of possibility.  The opposite i.e.  “can’t” is an automatic tension raiser.  Use “what I can” this in sales, coaching and collaboration and people, no matter what you do, will see you as someone who always says “yes!” 

 

  • “What We Believe”:  This is especially for you sales and marketing types.  Usually we blather on about “What we have” in the realm of the products or services, or options and promotions etc.    Instead of starting your sales and marketing conversations with “What we have are ____ and ____…” replace it with “What we believe is small businesses should take advantage of______ “or some phrase like that that espouses intelligence.    Customers/ Prospects know your darn products (heck they went online before they called you!).  What they want is advice and counsel.  They want a company or a person that has an opinion, a belief.  It’s less risky that way.   They want to hear what you believe.  Do this and you will make more sales.

 

  • “What Most People”:  Throw away everything else – these are the most powerful words in sales,marketing and training.  There is comfort (especially in a sketchy economy) in what other “like” people or businesses do.  Just lead with these 3 words!   You don’t need to explain it, tee it up or cringe before you say it.  “What most people buy is the _____”.  Or “What most people say is within 120 days they see great results”.   You get it.  But no one really says it often enough.  People and businesses (especially some say, small businesses) wont’ move till they know it works and most others are doing or using it.  Say it 50 times a day or more and you win!    

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

 Mark

7 Bold Predictions For 2012

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7 Bold Predictions For 2012

I’ve done these before.

 And by the way,  that’s “Mr. Markstrodamus” to you.

 

Talkology Will Rule.   IPhone 4s’ Siri, Dragon Dictation and the like continue to grow in influence.  It’s a mere matter of time.  Holding a phone to your ear was a pain in the tuckus so Bluetooth came along,  nested in our ears and gave you your arm back.  Why deal with the sprain and pain of typing then?  Wireless microphones we will all soon wear as we enter orders, write reviews and even update systems like salesforce.com

QR codes will explode for businesses large and small.  Don’t get what these are yet?  They allow you and your customers to spend more time with a product.  Be the first to have a ritual develop using the QR codes with your brand, your stuff, your resume’, heck even your T-shirt.  Enough with the “What is this QR code again?” stuff.  Learn it – and execute on it ahead of everyone else.  Someone else agrees with me on this one see here.

“Attraction” Will Be The Marketing Buzzword.  It’s not about getting “attention” or calls to “action” anymore.  It’s about building a product, a following, coveted knowledge or even a legend about what you do or can do.  You will aspire to have buyers search and yearn for you so much you need to beat them off with a stick.  Look for sales training, marketing campaigns and web content to rally around the best way to answer the customer pleas of “Tell me more!” instead of the other way around.

Video Selling Will Actually Happen.  Never did really take off eh?   But it’s getting easier everyday and frankly too much is lost for seller and prospect alike without visual cues.  Get out your Skype or Face Time  Makeup (I can assure you that’s a product coming) and either iron that shirt or cover it with a sweater cuz’ now its going to matter.

“You Are For Hire” Booms:  Oh, you’ll keep your day job but frankly social networking isn’t working fast enough for many businesses.  You’ll be contacted based on your “Kloutish” or Tweet Grader scores, or  number of Facebook fans et all, then signed up and rewarded in $$ for influencing your friends even though you aren’t part of any affiliate program.  It’s like Mary Kay and Lia Sophia cept you do it online and without a blog.  Trust is low.  But Trust is necessary for buyers to buy and now Trust will be worth cash to you.  ( And you will take it because you will believe!)

Simple Makes A Comeback.  Oh sure we all think we are simple to buy from or deal with; except that we aren’t.   We know that we as a species have outgrown our ability to remember and execute well upon what we learn as what we are learning is so vast.  We know we have to bring simple back.  The single greatest killer of sales is not the status quo ( are you kidding me in this economy people and businesses want to stay put?????) rather,  it is complexity.  Confusion and complexity is like hitting the emergency brake on sales.  Look for “It’s as easy as 1- 2 -3” to come roaring back.   

2.5 = 3.5, XLVI, 2, 18 & 8:   Charlie Sheen rejoins 2 & 1/2 men ( as  the show is plain terrible now- and really, who likes Alan playing the bad sleazy guy anyway!) -They’ll say it was all a dream.   Also, The Patriots win Superbowl XLVI in February, The Bruins repeat, The Celtics get banner #18 and Red Sox crush Theo’s Cubs in World Series to get their 8th trophy.    How do you like dem’ apples?

That’s what I see, and you?

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Great Gifts For Sales People

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4 Gifts Your Sales People Need This Year

This one is for all the sales leaders and coaches out there….

Looking for that perfect little something for your salespeople this year?    Look no further.  And no worries, I checked this list twice.

Hands Free Gift Cards:  Instead of adding more for your sales persons’ hands to do next year; take something away.  Entering orders in 7 systems, 3 tracking sheets, 2 CRM’s and the partridge in the pear tree isn’t selling.  That’s called data entry.    Sales people need to read and think and speak and sell and then read and think and speak and sell some more.   I get the efficiency and information gathering piece and you do too.  But I know there are gifts out there, be they tools or  support that can take some burden off the hands.  More Hands Free = More Sales.

25- $5 Expired Scratch Tickets .   Ah…. the joy of wishing and praying and of hoping the luck comes in will be dashed (Holiday pun intended) when you hand over these 25 expired loser tickets.  It’s one of the better gifts for sales people because even though it is downright mean, it’s a great message that that kind of good luck don’t work no more in sales.  Every scratched ticket does not get you closer to a winner, that’s for sure.  Same for unconscious dials & smiles!  Sales is not about spraying (or scratching) and praying!

A Coaching Promise.  No -, a real one!  Not the same old coaching you do all the time – you know that kind right?  The kind where you talk about the numbers and say cool stuff like “What are you going to do to hit those numbers?”  or” “I’ve noticed a decline in your performance lately, What’s up?” conversations.  Heck, Siri can coach like that.  I mean a coaching promise on the “How” to hit those numbers.  I mean a coaching promise that has you show, preach, teach and demonstrate how it’s done.   Real Specific, Real World and Real Time means Real Sales.

A Stronger Point of View:   I don’t mean yours, I mean your company’s.  Selling today is less and less about discovery and digging and probing and uncovering the darn needs of a prospect.  It’s more and more about being attractive.  Sales people need the powerful story; the powerful differentiators and the powerful point of views that attract prospects to the sales rep and into the conversations – not push them away.  Boiler Room & Glengarry Glen Ross are so 90’s – it’s 2013 and the world’s a lot smarter, a lot less trusting and just plain different now.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark.

 

Small Business Naked

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I’m not one for craft fairs. But I went to one recently and learned some awesome things.

Normally attending a craft fair, even if it is to only walk through as a courtesy to the organization running it, is worse for me than a visit to (gasp!) a mall.

Add the hustle of the Holidays and hundreds of sugar amped children screaming for Santa (fueled undoubtedly by the 4 tables of chocolate baked goods for sale) and I’d frankly rather drive ingots into my eyes.

But a couple of weeks back, I spent 45 minutes walking through one and it hit me hard.

These folks are Small Business Naked.

There’s no hiding in a storeroom or behind a “Closed” sign or even behind some HTML code for these craft table entrepreneurs. These folks have no choice but to lay out their wares right there in front of you, with no where to hide and are totally exposed.

These folks sit or stand inches away from their hand crafted “life long passions” or their “work that pays the bills” or in many cases as you could plainly see – they stand in front of what they feel is the very definition of themselves.

These naked small business owners have to have tremendous egos and confidence and pride like any small business owner we know but also have the unavoidable stress of being assessed and judged by hundreds or even thousands of people in a compressed period of time.

“Do you like me?” is what each business owner is asking you with his or her eyes as folks walk by. Meanwhile there is no wondering about the competitive landscape. Each naked small business owner needs to only look left or right to see who and what they are up against, fighting for those dollars in the strolling public’s wallets. No where else is the competition so “out there in plain sight”- with dozens of smiling yet competitive and competing small business owners inches from and across from, each other.

On so many levels, it’s clear that these folks who purchase a “craft table” face so many of the same hurdles the traditional small business does ranging from product market analysis to production, to inventory management, to marketing, to pricing strategy, to selling skills and the list goes on.

Except for one thing – They are out there exposed for 5 or 6 hours at a time, hiding nothing about who they are and what they do. That’s an awesome thing. I know now I’ll see these fairs a bit differently; perhaps as an opportunity for me to keep learning from some of the gutsiest group of small business owners out there.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

5 Things You Will Soon Lose (But It’s OK)

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Your Resume:  What you think of and how good you are about getting or keeping customers  (the only thing any employer truly should care about)  will soon best embodied by your blazing trail on the web via your blogs, slideshares, tweets, posts and commentary by businesses and customers you’ve influenced ( or not).  Your web fingerprint is a lot more credible than that single pager of spin we’ve grown to love.

 Your Thirst For Big Numbers.  You’ll soon despise having 500+contacts in LinkedIn or 10,000 followers on Twitter.  Instead you’ll yearn for being part of as many smaller networks you can.  It’s a bit sad, but we are embracing ever more tightly, the belief that “the bigger the network is the lower the trust of those within it.”  Tough business this world of trust is.

Your Memory:  Well, at least the loose data stuff.  With the Googlization of the world and how it changes how we use our brains (it’s a fact by the way)  to find out about stuff,  you’ll need just a swipe or a couple of spoken syllables into your (insert wicked smart battery powered thingy here) to get that memory jogged.  Good news it that neuroscience studies show it leaves more focus for the brain to work on more important stuff. 

Your Social Skills:  Tragic but we’ll soon be hard pressed to remember how to make eye contact, know which hand to lead with to shake hands and remember that unlike IM, you have to wait for someone to stop talking before sharing your thought.  Forget “Virtual Meeting”,  “Flesh Meeting” will become two dirtier words. Happily,  when we realize what we’ve lost we’ll get a fresh start on new and improved social skills. 

Your Boundaries:  It will happen.  Meeting at10 am.  Meeting at2:30 pm.  Go home at4pm.  Play with kids.  Nice dinner at6pm.  Watch reruns of 3 and a ½ men (Sheen came back from the dead- it was of course, just a dream).  Meeting at9pm with New Zealand staff.  Sleep.   Meeting at8am in UK client.  Meeting at10 am.   Rinse and Repeat.  Global is big. Global is different.  But global is money. 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

 Mark

Why I Hate Disney

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It’s their employees mostly. 

I just spent three miserable days at Disney World.

I was at a Learning conference and that was great but the employees at Disney were something else. 

Enough with the eye contact!  I don’t know you and you don’t know me so quit looking me in the eyes all the time.   Let me avert my gaze at the ground or the menu or my beloved smartphone or anywhere else I’m comfortable with.  My mother used to look me in the eyes all the time – usually when I was in trouble.   I spent 3 days walking around Disney wondering what the heck I did wrong.

They wouldn’t let me open my own doors (though I know exactly how to do it and have never injured myself ) and even more rudely – after I struggled to dig out cash, uncrumbling it from my pocket to hand it out as a tip, they refused to take it.   How insulting and ungrateful.

Obviously there is lot of potential trouble brewing around the place too.  I’ve never seen more well dressed managers and supervisors walking around always checking on things.  Always ambling up, smiling and chit-chatting with the staff.  Made me nervous.  Must be a history of random guest chaos or something.  They should just go back into their offices and only get involved when someone has a complaint, like normal bosses do.

I’m not old and hardly selfless but given the number of “Mr. McCarthy’s” and “Thank You’s” I got  from the staff, I thought I was both.  I am darn proud not to be a Baby Boomer ( having missed that designation by a whole year thank you very much) and frankly I gave at the office, so I’m not sure why I remind you of your dad or what you are so gushingly thankful for.

Finally, I was appalled that I never saw a Disney employee sitting down or wearing anything but a smile.   Nobody had a chair  whether they were behind a desk, a booth, a counter or actually anywhere.   And smiling all the time? That’s just creepy.  Heck, I spend most of my day sitting down and hardly ever smiling from what I’m told.

Anyway, I heard Disney was conducting some kind of session at the conference about how they train their employees (ahem.. “cast members”).    It was supposed to be a “best in class” kind of session.  Yeah right.  Got it already.  Glad I didn’t waste my time going to that one. 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark