humor

I am Joe’s Incentive Plan

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Hey.

How ya doin?

I am Joe’s Incentive Plan and I’m not very happy, so listen up.  I got something to say.

Don’t worry, Joe can’t hear us – he’s not thinking about me right now, which is an amazing and rare thing.  He’s in the system now trying to figure out how to add another contact with a different address cuz’ he needs to send the quote to yet another guy in the decision making process….

You probably don’t know this but….

Joe swears at me sometimes.  Like bad.  He does.   And that hurts.  We’re supposed to be close.

Usually it happens at the end of the week or the month when we’re walking down the hall together;   I’m computing away figuring out his paycheck in our head and all of a sudden he’s calling me this and that and how much I stink and how stupid I am and how I like other people more than him and that it’s not fair.  Except he really lets it fly with words I’ve never seen – even though I’m 13 pages long if you include the sign off page.

And then I get ticked off.  I gotta live with this guy and he freakin’ hates me.   I know some things though.  I really do.    And you guys got it wrong.

I’m too smart.  I’m too complex.  I’m too long.   And I knew it when you built me two years ago as you passed me around in all those Reply All’s picking me apart with everyone adding their drivel.   I knew it too when you made me sit for 40 days on that HR SharePoint site where I had nothing to do but look at my pathetic, drug out, butchered self until you’ll finished your Turkey dinners or something.

Then I sat in like 5 more meetings getting longer and longer and with as many asterisks as Barry Bonds will have (what you don’t think I read? His incentive plan is legend).

Let me just say what I know is in my DNA about the best Incentive Plans, before Joe gives up on the CRM and (I’ve seen him do this) jumps in the car and delivers the proposal himself;

Rule 1: A New Incentive Plans’ complexity should be of inverse proportion to the degree of change or results needed.  That’s a fancy way of saying that the bigger the degree of behavior/results changes you need Joe and his group to make – the simpler I must be.

Rule 2: Quit putting specific products/ qualifiers all over me.   Your products and focus aren’t going to stay the same.  Joe isn’t going to be asked to sell the same thing every month or in some cases even the same day.  Get Real!  Give me letter designations like  A, B, C, D.  That gives you and Joe the flexibility to change focus in the business on a dime.

Rule 3: I don’t want to be computing all the way down the darn hallway.  Make it as much as you can, something that  when Joe is done for the day or the week, he’s knows what $$ we made and doesn’t need a degree in calculus and blackmail photos to  use against the Reporting and Analytics guy to get him to run numbers .  Stock broker guys don’t have to do it, nor do the waiters or the brain surgeons.

I gotta go, Joe figured it out in the system.  Now he’s thinking about me again.  Do me a favor; help us enjoy our walks down the hallway.  I don’t want to fight anymore.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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The Most Interesting Sales Rep In The World

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The Most Interesting Sales Rep in The World

His commissions are greater than the GNP of Denmark and Finland combined.

His typical sales contest is winning first, second and 3rd prize.

He’s made The President’s Circle so often he may just run in 2016.

His Sales Manager cries softly just looking at him.

He has his own instance of Salesforce .com

He throws live objections into his sales pitches just for fun.

His business card simply says “You’re Welcome”

He is, the most interesting Sales Rep in the world.

*****

Let’s put aside the hyperbole and fun for a moment and think about what this sales person really looks like because you know he or she must exist somewhere!.  My guess is the following is true about the best sales person in the world.

She gets cold calls from prospects asking her what they need to worry about in their industry and if there’s any way she can help them.  And why shouldn’t she? She’s known for not solving problems buyers already know about but rather the one’s they don’t.

She hasn’t prospected since Thanksgiving; her customers flood her email with friends they want her to call on.  And why would she? If you are truly the best, your raving fans do so much of the prospecting for you.

She often tells clients to hold off signing an agreement because she wants to see the right infrastructure in place first to ensure the product will deliver.  And why shouldn’t she? She knows in today’s competitive global marketplace that selling often really begins after the sale.

She’s got a killer professional social media presence that is seen as a credible resource for evolving solutions and industry trends and dynamics.  Of course she does.  She gets that buyers are researching well ahead and she’ll not wait for the phone to ring or the email or lead come in.  She’s there right from the beginning.

I may not always post a blog inspired by a beer commercial but when I do, it makes you think, no?  Stay thirsty my friends.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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Not Even A Dog’s Year Old

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Not Even A Dog’s Year Old

A small trip down memory lane today.  6 years ago on this day, this blog began.   I started it to help 10 sales folks I was working with at the time and it has become something different than that – but not really.   It is an effort to write something short, perhaps interesting but most importantly, something you can use that day to help you be better at what you do, and to grow the business.

Though not even a dog’s year old, there are more than 350 posts (and over 50 others in draft form so awful that you will never see them) and 180,000+ words blathered in blog form.  Thought it would be fun to share the most popular posts based on the stats as well as some of my favorite posts and a few more of my favorite posts today.

Have fun rereading or reading these today (I did).  And thanks as always for reading and sharing.

5 Most Popular (based on your views and shares)

“Piano Man” is a Bad Song

My 25 Secrets for Selling To Small Businesses

The 6 Rules of Marketing and Sales

Treat Your Boss Well

Stumped

Some of My Favorites

I am Joe’s Lead

6 Questions Never To Ask a Customer

The Perfect I’m Sorry

Angela’s Assist

Platinum Questions Are Better

My Other Favorites (a bit closer to home- but lessons nonetheless)

My Great Pumpkin Lesson

Bailey

The Luckiest Man in the World

A Wii Bit of Advice

4 Minutes with Little Miss Dangling Arms

Fixing a Throwback Problem

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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5 Phrases You’re Not Using Enough

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5 Underrated Phrases

Words matter.  Don’t let anyone tell you different.

“Tell me more about that…”  Great at client meetings, great in customer conversations, great in coaching sessions and great at parties!  You don’t lead unnecessarily, you don’t shut someone down and you don’t force anyone down any path they don’t want to go.  You learn and they get to talk and share.  Great sales people know this.  And any of you actors out there know this is the one of the keys to great improv acting—it always keeps the conversation moving and don’t we all want that?

“We love you…”  What is wrong with us?  Do you think your customers give a flying hoot that you “value” them or “appreciate” them or “thank” them?  Blah Blah Blah.   Don’t you really love them? And if not, shouldn’t you?  (Their business puts food on your table).   Use “love“, “adore” or “cherish” in your print materials or email marketing and even those live conversations or voicemails.  There’s nothing wrong with saying “You folks are one of our absolute greatest customers”.  Make it your own—but make it different and real.  Get above the clutter and stand out.

“Let’ me figure out what I can do.”  Who knows why we humans default all the time to what we “can’t” do.  It’s maddening and so hard to break.  But you say the same thing except far better by saying “Let me think about it and come back with what can be done.” Vs “I can’t do this.”   It’s a world of difference be it at work in service, sales and even in your personal relationships.  Positive Resonates; Negative Detonates.

 “Who besides yourself…?”  Add any ending to Who besides yourself as in “has a say in the decision”, “wants to review”, “would like more info”, “would benefit from a demo”?  Too often we push our contacts away (whether we know them well or they just answered your call) instead of protecting them, their contributions and frankly their egos.  Always include, never insult unintentionally by presuming they do not play a role in the next step.

So you’re all set, this will get you (insert pursuit, dream or goal)”:  Easier than it seems but sadly at the end of most meetings, transactions or purchases we limp along and wrap up the pricing, the purchase order or the specifics of the next contact instead of inserting how what just happened is so critical to what the client or the business wants.   They don’t want the copier you’re selling; they want more time to focus on real work.  They don’t want business Facebook page built; they want to get more customers because they’ll be found more easily.  They don’t want to just list out action items for the next meeting; they want to know how what they did today is going to make a difference.  Tie off each meeting or interaction that way no matter what you do—you’ll solidify the value and strengthen the partnership.

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

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Say Something Nice (& 3 Ways To Do It)

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Say Something Nice ( & 3 Ways To Do It)

 

Your mother was right about having something nice to say.  Especially if your clients are businesses.

 

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

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Seriously, Which Is Better?

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Somebody walks into your shop or calls you.  You can ask a series of silly questions or a wicked awesome one.  Which will you do?    First of a series on the topic!

 

 

 

 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

Mark’s Blog

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Scrabble

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You can call it volunteering if you want but I just call it “an old fashioned whoopin’ that keeps on giving”

It’s true I’ve been known to head to the local Sr. Center and um… volunteer to play scrabble with some of the folks that hang out there.   My objective is twofold:  give of my time and talent to these wonderful folks and of course, to win.

Scrabble is a great game. It’s a great game for anyone.  It keeps the mind sharp.

Let’s all agree to that helping drive interest in the playing of Scrabble is a good thing – especially at a Senior Center.  Let me make an argument that it’s even better when I do it.   Scrabble in my hands for a mere hour a week, is a series of important life lessons for all of us.

  • Losing never gets old.  Chances are overwhelming that you will lose to me.  (Ok, well 2 weeks ago was an exception – but I’ve got my eye on you Betsy).  There’s no age when losing should stop.  Life is funny like that; the only time losing stops pretty much is when you’ve given up trying something or are no longer literally getting in the game.  My trouncing you is therefore, good for you.
  • Chi is good, really good.   Chi is a word that means vital internal energy.  Good chi is exactly what you want in your Senior Center and exactly what you want in Scrabble.  With me as your Scrabble guide, you’ll get vitally energized when you learn that you can spell “chi” for immense points in two other ways with just two letters as in “xi” and “qi”.  What fun!  When I did this for 31 points, Kathy shot me a look and then spewed out  two other choice letters tied together that I can’t mention, but nevertheless, this is a teaching moment!  – Teaching never grows old, even if we do.
  • Without rules there’s Chaos.   Just because we may have a little more life experience doesn’t mean rules get lax.  I have a lot of personal rules about Scrabble I think are endearing and truly in the spirit of the game.  One rule is that you should never put down a word that you cannot use in a sentence.   Nancy disagreed when I asked her about “el” and then slammed down her 4 page print-out of acceptable 2 letter Scrabble words and said “That’s stupid-  it’s a word! But to make you happy, how about you shutting the el up?”  Funny now but she’ll think about it later and realize how much I’ve taught her.

This week at my suggestion, we’ve added a Scrabble trophy for the winner of the weekly matches. The winner keeps it for the week, snapping and posting photos of you and your trophy around town.  A nice incentive to work hard every week and improve your game I say.   My Scrabble mates liked the idea but suggested if I win, to take a photo of myself and the trophy at the end of a long walk on a short pier.

Not very nice but chi is xi baby– bring it on!

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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The 4 Best Sales Pick-Up Lines Ever

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The 4 Best Sales Pick Up Lines Ever

 

Want to get a date with your prospect?  Want to see if you make those sparks fly?  Or maybe you want to date your current customer and move into a deeper more satisfying relationship.

Pick up lines work great.

My favorite one in college (worked darn near every time) was when I sauntered up to an unsuspecting attractive young lady at the bar and said   “I can play Lionel Ritchie songs on the piano, you wanna hear some? ”

But I’ve grown and realized that pick-up lines aren’t just for your love life.  They’re for work too.

Here are my top 4

“I know people just like you, in fact I spent the weekend in Vegas with hundreds of them” – This one is always good; you’re smart about their business – you went to a trade show in their industry and bragged about it.  You’ll be fun and a good listener.

“You may not know this, but I’ve been watching you..”.   Creepy?  No, not at all.  You’ve been watching them on social media, maybe read their posts or blogs.  You might have even read their financial reports.  You’re the type that makes people and businesses feel special.  You’re a nice talker, not a stalker.

“I’m learning about the most entrepreneurial and successful people,  do have a minute for me to interview you?” This one is always great.  People like to help people and especially if they can talk about themselves too!  You’re sure to get some time and maybe even for way more than a minute!

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I show you that again?”   Great line to use In your presentation when you are super proud of your stuff –  your product or your solution.  It is very contagious and attractive to be proud so be proud!  You’ll have prospects fawning all over you.

 

 

 

Till next time,

Truly Grow The Business.

Mark

 

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Inherently Suspenseful

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Inherently Suspenseful

The Wall Street Journal published an article touting the growth of golf on play-by-play on radio.  “So what” you say? Well, hear me out – there’s a lesson for us.

It’s true that golf on radio is growing – but that wasn’t what struck me as the most interesting point of the article.  The article touted how popular golf is on TV and  I admit I’m a huge fan.  I’ve always told people that I like to watch TV golf because it’s relaxing and frankly, being from New England, the weather is always better there than out my window.

That’s why I think I like TV golf.  But I know now that’s not the reason.

The writer of the article (John Paul Newport) said this about golf on TV,  “Television discovered that watching the little ball sail through the air for several long seconds, to land who-knows-where, was inherently suspenseful.”

Brilliant insight.

So that’s why I watch it.  It is inherently suspenseful.   And sure I like the physics and geometry of it all; playing angles and surfaces and the wind which by the way, adds to the suspense of where that little white ball is going to land.

And I got to thinking about those fleeting moments every day that are inherently suspenseful for us;  getting the mail ( what’s there?), getting an email ( what is this about?) , a comment, a poke, an update or a post ( I wonder what this is?).  And what about the scratch cards, the monopoly tickets, even the daily specials – we are suckers for this stuff.  We love small things that are inherently suspenseful.

Add up a bunch of those inherently suspenseful moments and maybe you get to be like golf on TV with some eyes watching you.  How good would that be for business?

Each Apple IOS release is inherently suspenseful ( what new features and benefits to me are there?).  Each TED series talk is inherently suspenseful (where will this go?).  These days even the smaller businesses are getting in the suspense game;  will the pizza place write out a joke inside the box cover?  Trade shows are inherently suspenseful ( what will be in the booth? What’s new?) and of course social media tools done right deliver suspense ( FourSquare, Facebook and YouTube).

Inherently suspenseful is attractive.  There’s surely a ton of great ways people are doing it today you can discover, but keep your head down and that left arm straight and look for those moments in your personal interactions with clients or in your business’s interactions and string some fleeting moments of suspense together.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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Some Things Change, Some Don’t ( But Could If We Try)

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Some Things Change, Some Things Don’t (But Could If We Try)

I am waiting.  Right now.  But I am OK.  I guess until I get the bill.  But I’m still OK.

My water heater has been leaking for three days and of course two of those days are over the weekend. 

At first I thought some weird condensation thing was happening given the freezing temperatures and then I was hoping it might be some pressure valve temporary issue where it needed to vent a little bit of water on the floor and that would be that. 

Who am I kidding? My first thought wasn’t any of that.  As soon as I realized this was a leak vs. tracked in snow in the basement, I raced to my IPad and looked for a video on “Leaking Water Heater”.  I’m a complete moron when it comes to handy man stuff (yes, there is a reason I am the only son-in-law that never gets tools for Christmas like the other guys)

That video of a Colorado plumber explaining things (and I have no idea why some Colorado local plumber’s video was at the top of the search page given Google knows exactly where I am searching from in Massachusetts) taught me to consider condensation and to check and see (by putting small bucket under the pressure valve tube) if the pressure valve was the culprit.  They weren’t – that meant the worst scenario; an actual breach to the water heater.

Here’s the point about how some things change though.  When I need service or a product today I learn first.  I educate myself first.  I get myself smarter before I go make a call or query   Power to the buyer.  I know you do too.  And I use video. (Who doesn’t?)  

Here’s where some things don’t change but probably could have.  Armed with new knowledge and not feeling like a complete idiot, yet sadly realizing this cool expert plumber guy was a couple of thousand miles away, I called someone else.  I called the company that fixed my furnace last year and the air conditioning thing a ma jig.   I called them and asked them to recommend a plumbing company to help with my water heater issue.

They gave me a name.  Done.  That company is on their way. 

Referrals from trusted people or suppliers are killer.  That will never get old.

I will tell you though, if that video in water heaters was a local guy, a local company – I would of straight up called him first as the video was done so well done; professional  yet personal, homey yet really informative.

So recognize this all you businesses or salespeople or experts in any field – get some quality video out to help educate your prospects and customers.  Get it out in such a way that you drive it to the top of search engines using everything you got in great content and SEO.  Because getting smart is what we all do now as the first step before we open our wallets. 

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

 

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