Mother’s Day 1985

Mother’s Day 1985

Warning: There’s nothing here today that will help you sell, train or market better. So it’s fine if you wander off and go do your thing. I’ll not be offended – it’s rare detour here -come back soon.

It’s Mother’s Day Sunday and my brother just recently found a letter I had written to my mother that she had kept for 26 years until she passed last June.

Seems it’s a letter I wrote to her for Mother’s day back when I was 20.

I have a vague memory of having written it and that it was important but I don’t remember thinking about it, writing it, mailing it from college or even if I came home that weekend and gave it to her in person. No idea.

I share it though because there is a message here. The message though, has the gift of hindsight. I didn’t know the letter would mean what presumably it did for her. For all I remember, I was probably so flat broke in college that all I could afford for a gift was to write her this letter. I can assure you however, there’s no other Mother’s day gift or Hallmark card I ever gave her that she kept for all these years- we’ve looked.

But the message is this; If you haven’t done so already, you 20 somethings ( or maybe even you 30 and 40 somethings) should put on paper, words for your mother like maybe you haven’t done before. They may mean much more than you think it will. For my mother it did. And do it now before it doesn’t make sense to write her.

I’ve copied letter below from the pictured yellow paper that it was written on. Sure, it’s personal. With the gift of looking back though, I’m happy I said these things. Lucky probably. But damn happy I wrote it. You don’t have to be lucky; you can do this now.

Like I said, I don’t remember writing this. Heck, I don’t even remember now the “green sweater” I refer to. But again, it’s not what I remember that matters; it’s what your Mom will.

Dear Ma,

Very often, kids take it upon themselves to either blame their parents for whatever goes wrong in their lives, or merely take them for granted. I’ve never felt the need to feel the former, but while at school I have the tendency to commit the latter. For that I apologize. But today is a day for you to enjoy and for me to reflect on my mother.

All the thoughts that come to mind are pleasant ones: You dressing me in my favorite spring green sweater when I was 5. You, sharing in my enthusiasm the day I made the choir in the 6th grade. Reading the letter that you sent me, and crying, in my senior year @ Xaverian in XLI. Every single show I’ve ever been in, you don’t know how much it means to me to have you there.

Anyways I don’t want to take you for granted, and in a large sense I don’t. It’s more that a son of 20 is trying hard to do everything he wants to so fast that the people he’s closest to are the first to be forgotten. My body is still moving, but my head is slowing down – Everyday, when I think of you, I smile and appreciate you more and more, not for what you’ve done for me, but for what you’ve done because of me.

I love you!

-Mark

If your reading this Mom ( and I bet you are), you should know that nothing’s changed in how I feel all these so many years later. No, nothing at all.

Happy Mother’s day. We miss you.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

The DIFM Kid

The DIFM Kid

I gave up. January 1st was the day that I was done.

I gotta just focus on what I do well and maybe do that better.

Now I pay a 14 year old whiz kid (a friend of my son), to just do technology stuff for me now. “The DIFM Kid” (Do It For Me) is what I call him. (He is pictured here as rendered by my wife) I don’t pay him a lot. But the ROI is unbelievable.

Let him set up the Netflix on the Wii, let him set up my wife’s new Facebook Business Page, let him figure out how to connect the piano keyboard to the PC so we can record some of my son’s music. Let him figure out why the wifi sync doesn’t work or why we need two Routers now because of all the stuff using whatever it is they use.

I’m not stupid. Some people (and this is hilarious) think I might be a little on the “techie” side of the ledger. ( LOL- that’s called Acting man) but it is getting harder out there. I don’t have the time, but I have the need.

I just realized no matter how many manuals and instructions I read, or how many tutorials or videos I watch, I’m not going to get it. Or I am not going to get it done fast enough. Or sometimes I am going to make it even worse. And maybe I need to focus on what I do well already and quit wasting time on stuff I don’t.

And now word has spread about “The DIFM Kid” and me using him. Now everybody in the extended family is asking for him. He disappears on Sundays 3 towns over at brother in-law’s house to go set up a new TV or to fix a slow laptop or to connect a transmitter to an outside thermometer. There’s a darn waiting list for him and texts asking “When is “The DIFM Kid” gonna be around? ” Things are looking great for him.

There are a lot of us out there feeling that way, consumers and small businesses alike.

You don’t have to look that far to see that Do It For Me services are going to explode not just in my family but in the marketplace too. I see them every day grow stronger and stronger where I work. They’ve been around forever, but now the speed in which new becomes old, or good becomes just OK or keeping up becomes “What the hell just happened?” is accelerating at a pace where DIY ( Do It Yourself) might soon feel so yesterday.

That smacks of opportunity. Be ready- The next DIFM Kid could ( or maybe should) be you.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

What I Learned Acting In Star Trek

What I Learned Acting In Star Trek

This last weekend we again watched the recent J.J. Abrams Star Trek film from a couple years back. Awesome movie.

I thought back to when I was an actor in Star Trek from the original series. Working with the other actors on set was life changing for me.

But let’s talk about this latest movie version of the series for a minute. It is a look back to the beginning of Star Trek – a “prequel” view at how the original characters, (i.e. the likes of Shatner, Nimoy and Deforest Kelly) all started out; how they formed their relationships and beliefs. About why and how they go about “boldly going” so to speak.

It made me think about my original days involved in Star Trek and what influence it had and has on my life today. My experience acting in Star Trek was huge. Those days on the “Trek” set shaped some very important things about me and how I act today.

Maybe you could learn from it too.

Star Trek wasn’t much of a hit when it originally aired late in the 60’s, but in syndication all through the 1970’s, it rocked.

I have 3 brothers and we were all growing up in the 70’s.

William Shatner and his crew had nothing on us; truth was, we were Star Trek.

I was Capt James T. Kirk. My first officer Spock (played by my older, sci-fi book loving, overtly logical brother Kevin), was incessantly harangued by Dr. “Bones” McCoy played by Brother Paul. Paul and Kevin kind of had that relationship off set at times, so it was a good fit. My littlest brother James played the role that offers the focal lesson for today.

James always played (he had no choice) …… “The Guard ….Who Went Bad”

You gotta have a bad guy sometimes. It makes it more fun. It gives you a purpose. It gives you a “mission”; a mission to succeed, to win and sometimes, to save the world.

Baby brother James had a rough time of it when you think about it. He always started out as part of the “crew” (which he liked) but only for a while (which he didn’t). His role, being about 7 years old, was always to guard the ship and crew as he slowly moved from room to room. (One bedroom was the “Bridge”, the other was “SickBay” and the rest of the little house was whatever dangerous planet we beamed down to).

Suddenly James (aka “The Guard…Who Went Bad”) was forced to “snap” and turn on the crew, putting our mission at risk. Racing through the house we would chase James, tackle him, and even though we had only set our phasers to “stun”, we somehow always killed him – his body blown to bits all over the living room ( somehow that was better than the “disappearing thing” that happened with the phasers on TV.) Good Times.

Gotta have a bad guy sometimes. That sticks with me. I have to have a purpose occasionally, to defeat something. My guess is you might too.

Maybe you work hard everyday to beat down this Guard Gone Bad sketchy economy thing. Maybe you strategize, work weekends and nights to knock this thing out and grow the business despite what seems like an incredibly hard mission.

Maybe you work up a sweat by3 o’clock pounding out calls and working hard to have conversations with your customers because you are fighting this Guard Gone Bad enemy that is someone’s false perception that you “can’t” do something. Take that Guard Gone Bad; don’t tell me I can’t do something.

Maybe the Guard Gone Bad for you is the competition. You won’t let “these other guys” take your market share, take your sales or take your future away from you. Nope; skip the phaser, give me the photon torpedo.

Maybe the Guard Gone Bad for you is a demon you are battling inside yourself. And it would be so easy to give up and check into Sick Bay but ain’t no way that is going to happen.

So maybe ( no assuredly), there is something good to be said about finding a foil, about finding that enemy to defeat and about creating and/or finding that Guard Gone Bad.

Thanks to my cast mates in the original series produced in Norwood, MA in late 70’s and especially to James. Sorry you got killed so many times bro, but at least it wasn’t in vain.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Why I Hate Disney

It’s their employees mostly.

I just spent three miserable days at Disney World.

I was at a Learning conference and that was great but the employees at Disney were something else.

Enough with the eye contact! I don’t know you and you don’t know me so quit looking me in the eyes all the time. Let me avert my gaze at the ground or the menu or my beloved smartphone or anywhere else I’m comfortable with. My mother used to look me in the eyes all the time – usually when I was in trouble. I spent 3 days walking around Disney wondering what the heck I did wrong.

They wouldn’t let me open my own doors (though I know exactly how to do it and have never injured myself ) and even more rudely – after I struggled to dig out cash, uncrumbling it from my pocket to hand it out as a tip, they refused to take it. How insulting and ungrateful.

Obviously there is lot of potential trouble brewing around the place too. I’ve never seen more well dressed managers and supervisors walking around always checking on things. Always ambling up, smiling and chit-chatting with the staff. Made me nervous. Must be a history of random guest chaos or something. They should just go back into their offices and only get involved when someone has a complaint, like normal bosses do.

I’m not old and hardly selfless but given the number of “Mr. McCarthy’s” and “Thank You’s” I got from the staff, I thought I was both. I am darn proud not to be a Baby Boomer ( having missed that designation by a whole year thank you very much) and frankly I gave at the office, so I’m not sure why I remind you of your dad or what you are so gushingly thankful for.

Finally, I was appalled that I never saw a Disney employee sitting down or wearing anything but a smile. Nobody had a chair whether they were behind a desk, a booth, a counter or actually anywhere. And smiling all the time? That’s just creepy. Heck, I spend most of my day sitting down and hardly ever smiling from what I’m told.

Anyway, I heard Disney was conducting some kind of session at the conference about how they train their employees (ahem.. “cast members”). It was supposed to be a “best in class” kind of session. Yeah right. Got it already. Glad I didn’t waste my time going to that one.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Kids Make The Best Sales People

Today’s post is a guest blog by my colleague, Angie Harley.

For those of you who have ever spent significant blocks of time with children, you know what I’m talking about. Kids are- and probably always have been- some of the best sales people I’ve ever encountered.

Now, since child labor laws exist, and we don’t sell cookies, this isn’t the next greatest idea for our business. But, I think there are a 3 lessons we could all relearn- since each of us have this deep rooted experience from our own childhoods- from these little people.

Lesson #1: Be persistent.

My four year old has this down- see if you can relate.
“Can I watch Megamind?” No. “Mom, can I please watch Megamind? “ No. “But I said, please.” Thank you for using manners, but No. “Why not?” Because I said so…

Look at that- three no’s and there is still persistence. No fear of the no with a kid- they just keep asking it differently.

My six year old is a little better at this skill.

“Mom, if I eat all my dinner, could we go get ice cream tonight?” Not tonight. “Why can’t we have ice cream, it’s a beautiful day for ice cream, and I know you love the Dairy Queen?” Good point.

See, she got the no- kept going, but look at the insertion of value statements, giving a benefit, seeking to understand the no. Much more effective. Be persistent, but do it well!

Lesson #2: Money isn’t the issue

“Mom, can I have a new game?” We’ll see. “Mom, this game is only $50 for the Wii, and you love to play the Wii. We could have so much fun with this one.” $50 is a lot of money, honey. “Well, not if we play it every day, Daddy said your new pants cost $50 and you only wear them sometimes.” Ugh, another point for the six year old.

You see, while money is important- it’s more about the value you get out of that money. Don’t be afraid to ask for that high dollar sale, if there’s value to the customer, the money isn’t the issue.

Lesson #3: Be fearless of the insane.

Let’s use my four year old again- 5 minutes before bedtime.

“Mommy, I’m hungry. Can I have some cookies?” No, bud, it’s bedtime (what is he thinking!).

Call me a meanie, but asking for straight sugar right before bedtime is an insane question. But, again, children are fearless when asking for the insane. Whether they know it’s crazy or not- it’s a bold, brave move to ask for the insane. Try it, ask for that big sale, the crazy work schedule, or a day off- your fear may be the only thing in your way of a yes!

she wins another round.

However, the lesson isn’t to pester your customers into prospects, but

There is so much to learn, more than just the three lessons here. So, the next time you are near a small child, pay attention to the little things they say and do to get their way. You’ll be amazed how savvy these little people can be!

Angie’s Bio

Angie Harley has a passion for learning- especially learning from the seemingly insignificant events of everyday life. She has over 10 years of sales, management and training experience. Angie lives in Minnesota with her husband and two sales savvy children. She can be reached at angie.harley@deluxe.com

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Steve Jobs Our Loss

Getty Images

It feels personal to me. We lost a truly great man. He wasn’t a hero, a president, a rock star or a childhood sports idol. He was none of those but by gosh, he was all of those. There are so few original thoughts in the world yet he thrived in giving us glorious ideas we never thought of.

Yet we didn’t know anything about his personal life, his illness or his family. He didn’t want us to. And we, refreshingly, didn’t care to know. In that speaks volumes about purity and priority.

There is something better. That is what he believed. So simple; There is something better. So wonderful.

He was also a business leader (uncomfortably for some), and yet that is what so many of our fathers and mothers, customers and even ourselves are. It’s not a bad thing this business of business he knew, for it fuels the joyful lives of so many people.

As I finish this post on one of his instruments; the IPad, it occurs to me how poignant that is. It never leaves my side. It contains so much better my thoughts, my passions, my dreams and my visions. How fitting is it for all of us and for him that the result of his dreams and visions helps us so easily partake in our own.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

“Can I Help You With Anything?” (Ugh)

My wife went to look for a dress on Friday.

She told me about it later (must have been a commercial break as I’m not inclined to really listen to mall shopping stories) but I was so pleased to have heard it.

As she entered the store, the associate walked up to her and didn’t say “Can I help you with anything?” She also didn’t say “Hi, how are you?” She didn’t say too “If you need anything just let me know”…

What she did say was – “What brings you here today?”

[How Wonderful!]

My wife hesitated, (it’s just harder to blurt out “I’m all set” to that question!), then mumbled she was looking for a dress and the associate smartly followed with “…for a special occasion?….”

By golly, yes she was. Happiness and an extra large charge on the credit card ensued. 🙂

What a great reminder of how idiotic in sales we often are.

Shoppers who enter your store or call your phone already have an interest in something (or um….they wouldn’t be there right?).

Yet how often do we neglect to enhance that energy or fuel that fire but saying silly things like “How can I help you today?” or “Can I answer any questions for you?”

Take a lesson from the associate my wife met on Friday and instead ask “What brings you here today?” or “What prompted your call today?”

Energy and Need propelled the shopper to walk into your store or to dial your phone, don’t drain it with inane meaningless questions – fuel it!

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Lois’ Lessons

I think of how good it is to create opportunities for others, for that is really the best you can do. What we do with those opportunities of course, is up to us.

I think of how good it is to heed the advice of “offer it up and move on!” That counsel is authored by many, yet so few of us act accordingly with any consistency. We should pledge to do better.

I think of how good it is to unexpectedly just send a note or a check or even yourself to someone in need. And to do it unannounced and tell it to no one. There is something so pure about that.

I think of how good it is not to waste time. It’s never coming back. Spend those “down” times learning or helping or creating something if not for yourself, then at least for someone else.

I think of how good it is to make those individuals close to you feel like it is just you and them; and that “No, there is no one else but you” that I focus on or care about. If you can pull that off, you are wondrous.

I think of how good it is to spend a life in the care or protection of others as a career and as a parent. Blessed are those that don’t leave work at work, but rather without missing a beat, bring the best of that work home every single night.

I think of these things because later today my family and I will more formally remember someone who taught me so much about what you read here. I was not my Mother’s greatest student in these lessons but am smart enough to know they do live tattered and duct taped somewhere within me.

She centered her life on caring; on making you feel like you “were the only one” she was thinking about and always surprised or helped when you never expected it. Above all, she made, prayed and worked very hard to make opportunities for us.

Her passing this week is difficult but an opportunity at home or at work for all of us, especially me. Be more purposeful about embracing the lessons of my mother, Lois.

Go ahead and steal shamelessly from her (but don’t tell anyone); she’d like that.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Larry Bird?

image credit retroplanet.com

There’s a board game called TriBond where you identify the commonality of three clues given. It’s pretty fun.

Last weekend, my 14 year old son was given these three:

“Big…Larry….Jay”

He correctly said “Bird”. Then asked, “I know Big Bird and a Jay Bird, but what the heck is a “Larry Bird”?

Sigh.

Wow.

What else do I incorrectly assume is a basic reference with someone I know well? Or with colleagues, employees or customers?

It’s worse than that actually.

I assume this blog makes sense to you. But how many are saying “Who the heck is Larry Bird?”

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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Mondays are busy. All Monday posts are 100 words or less.

5 Irish Sales Tips

I’m Irish.

I grew up Irish Catholic in Boston.

That’s Wicked Irish to you.

May the road rise to meet you. But if it don’t, here are 5 Irish sales tips to help you keep going anyway.

Irish Cooking Keeps The Focus On You: Take a client to lunch or dinner. Find a nice Irish restaurant (yeah, I don’t know one either) or pub and order something of what we Irish learned to do so well – boil the flavor out of what ever unidentifiable meat or vegetables are around. Without much going on in the plate, you’ve got that client focused on you.

It’s All About The Jig: I’ve got nieces who perform that Irish jig thing. It’s a disconcerting dance to watch for sure. Until you realize what a great lesson that is to you as a sales rep. It’s all about keeping cool and calm on top but dancing like a fiend below. It’s about doing all that legwork and dancing on the fly but never letting your prospect or competition see you sweat.

There’s No Hugging In Sales: A simple nod, a quick handshake and 2 or 3 syllables is pretty much the greeting among acquaintances, friends and quite frankly, my family as I grew up. Chit chat about kids, last weekends’ activities or heaven forbid – embraces or hugging we believe are just tension raisers amongst us Irish folk especially in sales. And tension my friends, stops the sales process cold.

Great Questioning Begins With A Brogue: Everyone loves a good Irish brogue. And you know you do it well when everything you say sounds like a question as the last word of each sentence inflects up in the air like a sweet Celtic jumpshot. Questions in sales are good. You can also avoid the discomfort of getting a direct “yes” or a “no” by saying stuff in an Irish brogue like “This is a fantastic offer” or “ This would work well for you” and just staying silent …as the prospect will answer you.

Irish Closing Skills: Let the jokes fly here. I‘ll start – “Irish closing skills begin at 2am”, or “Did you ever try that Irish close called “Last Call””? Truth is, we Boston Irish Catholic do have a great closing technique. It’s called Guilt. Here’s how the Guilt close works. “Mr. Prospect, your staff deserves this widget as without it they’ll suffer and go home angry or depressed. And think of the kids, think of them dealing with a Mom or Dad whose Boss never gave them that widget and that’s why little Johnny went without dessert last night.”

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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