My Great Pumpkin Lesson

I carved a pumpkin for the first time in my life Sunday. Truly, I never had before.

My young son was feeling sad that he had not yet carved a pumpkin this year with Halloween being right around the corner and all. He’d carved pumpkins with his mother before, but he wanted to carve one with me.

I was a little nervous about it. I know that sounds silly. My son said, “Daddy, it’s easy, you can do it.”

It is something many or perhaps most other people have done. I never have. No real reason I guess; I grew up in the city and maybe that has played a part but I’m also not an artist and it sure looks like it would take one to make a pumpkin look any good.

“I’ll draw the face on the pumpkin for you, Daddy.” He said.

I worried about the knives but he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take the little one and you can use the big one.”

I honestly (and please don’t laugh too loud) never thought to think what was in a pumpkin and how making it hollow or carving it out must be something that is hard to do. “It’s full of squishy seeds and stuff and we need a bowl to put it in…” he said. He was right; it wasn’t as solid I thought it would be.

We cut and scooped out the pumpkin. “You do this section Daddy, you are stronger, scrape it all out.”

And then… Oh…what a face he drew!

I carved and sculpted and shaped the face. “Careful not to push on the holes while you carve the other holes” he said. Great advice.

I had so much fun. I loved it. It looks really cool and very scary. “You did a great job Daddy.” He said. I was all smiles.

Something about carving this pumpkin meant more to me than I expected.

I thought what a great teacher my son is. He eased my fears and took control when he needed to. He helped me through all the tough parts and even praised me. But in the end gave me something so much more wonderful that I did not readily see it.

He was, in the carving of this pumpkin, being the teacher to me that I want to be, for him.

Later that day on the long ride back to his mother’s house, he put his hand in mine and said “Thanks for carving my pumpkin with me Daddy.”

No son, thank you.

Till next time,

Grow the Business.

Mark

10 Things I Haven’t Mentioned….

Nice picture. Screams charasmatic doesn’t it?

Yeah I have to work on that. But I’ll start with a little more behind the picture today.

I write about what could or should be done in the worlds of sales, marketing and training. I’m not shy either about having a stand on a few life lessons too. I’m OK with that.

So, today here are a few things you won’t read about me in my About pages and that might offer an element of

Well, I have no idea really.

All I do know is that when I read a couple of posts like this one here by blogger Lisa Sonara Beam, who got the idea from Corbett Barr, it helped me.

Not sure how it helped but it did. When I read their posts or their tweets now I guess I feel a little more something. Maybe it was because a little more was laid out there on a limb with the content of the blog. It was a little more transparent maybe.

I think too that they feel a little more something when they write having shared stuff that may not have been that easy to share. Seems like a win- win.

So I’m stealing shamelessly.

1. My father was a police officer and my mother was a nurse. He worked days and she worked nights and then she worked days and he worked nights… You get the idea. Though 4 sons and a daughter, none of us chose either profession as a career. I feel kind of bad about that.

2. Toby W. doesn’t know I love him. 8 years ago he was kind enough to stop me in the hallway and say he knew I was desperately looking for an apartment and that there was one available in the next town over. 7 days and 75 miles later, I moved in, then went to the local church one hot day that summer, saw the love of my new life cantering, married her 7 years later and am still the Luckiest Man in The World. Toby visits the office every once in a while (he’s a field sales guy), but he has no idea why I stare at him so long, often saying nothing. He knows now. I love you man.

3. I was always afraid of dogs. Till I got one. Now I am just a little afraid.

4. I went to college as an Engineering Major. Oh yeah, a 5 year program with the last 2 years supposed to be at Notre Dame. But in my sophomore year at Stonehill College when I started digging into the trash bins in the computer lab looking for hints of how to just start my computer programming assignments, I realized this ain’t for me and changed majors right quick.

5. For nearly 5 years I drove 4 hours a day commuting to and from work. 75 miles each way in some of the worst traffic imaginable. Longest round trip? 9 hours. You do what you need to do for your family, you discover books on tape and learn first hand that you never travel in the far left lane; ever, it’s always the slowest. Stay in the middle lane my friend. Always.

6. Writing is the Great Clarifier. Writing adds more depth to my thinking, strategizing and execution without a doubt. It’s not something I do in addition to my job. It is something I do to get the job done. Hard to explain, but true.

7. It’s the little things that drive me crazy. I’ll use cuss words that would make Capt. Quint wince (he’s from the movie Jaws for you youngin’s) when that razor falls out of the cabinet again or I am stuck having to open up a cereal package (impossible). If I lost an arm in a power saw accident however, I assure you that you wouldn’t hear a peep out of me. Seen it before; big stuff happens and I’m cool as a cucumber, little stuff happens and the good Sisters at St. Catherine’s would ditch the ruler and grab a 2 by 4.

8. A 30 pack of Bud Light saved my life. Between his second and third murder over the span of 5 days, this guy walked up to my car window while I tried to pull out into traffic in Meredith, NH in 2001. He leaned into my car window and asked “can I get a lift to the print shop just down the road?”. His hand heavily resting on the door frame and his head now nearly touching mine, I just glanced at the 30 pack of Bud Light on the passenger seat, shrugged and said “Hey man, no room”. I then hit the accelerator harder than I planned and drove off; something just wasn’t right about him. 2 of the 3 guys he killed I found out later, had given him a lift just like I almost did. Maybe this is why I still love beer so much.

9. I love my Mom’s music . On my IPod, I’ve got everything from Jock Jams to Broadway musicals to Mozart’s Requiem to Police (Live!) to John Denver to a dozen full length Biz books. So what. Everybody has a wild mix of music. My favorite Playlist is the one I made for my Mom 2 years ago. She’s 77. I burned 2 CD’s for her of her favorite stuff ranging from Church hymns to Paul Simon to Les Miserables and I know I listen to it more than she does.

10. I know nothing about cars, babies, electronics, weapons, meat that is anything but well done, astrology, soccer, tennis and fishing. Conversely, I know way too much about backyard sports (including dozens of made up games), football, books of lists, scrabble and cemeteries. So there you go; that about evens it up.

Till next time,

Grow the business.

Mark

Mullet Over

Sales and Dating just don’t mix. But when they do, there are lessons to be learned.

Tonight you are super sales guy Rock Ledger. You are single and in a bar. Good Times.

And lucky you, it’s also 80’s night. This feels good. This was your time. This was where the Rock Ledger legend began. So even though you are not much of a dancer, it’s flashback (and Flashdance) fever tonight so you have got it going on!

You Rock Ledger, you super sales man, you did your pre – party research, and prepared well for this 80’s night. And holy leg warmers, you spy someone you think you’d like to talk to. You remember her name is Tiffany.

Excellent. Time to make your move.

A bit sweaty now because you just had to break out some moves to the blaring tune Safety Dance, you are comforted knowing that the rusty Aquanet hairspray you found buried in your dresser drawer (literally from the 80’s you suspect), had enough juice to keep hair securely shaped into that “oh so cool” Mullet. You amble over to Tiffany in your now ill – fitting Members Only jacket and say:

“Well Hello there.”

“Well Hello to you.” She says. She looks at you coyly. She’s curious. You look back. An awkward pause ensues, but you are ready. Conversation is your game.

“I was wondering” you say, (knowing full well how good your John Stamos Full House Mullet looks)…. “Are you happy with growth of your family or are you just looking to keep the family you have?”

“Whaaaat?” She cries.

“No, I ‘m sorry. What I meant was, how happy are you recently with things? Is life going well for you? Are you really happy with your current boyfriend or do you want to be happier?”

“Listen Skippy, I barely know you..”, she says. (And of course you’re thinking that “Skippy” was Michael J Fox’s dorky friend on Family Ties and you definitely do not, look like Skippy)

“Ok I’m really sorry this is not starting off well. All I want to know is why can’t I have a serious conversation with you?”

WHAP!! Your face, ego and hair sprayed Mullet all get whacked at once. Face and ego bruised, the Mullet surrenders too and snaps back from whence it came. Your 80’s night is now over.

Mildly entertaining? Sure. But Rock Ledger’s conversation with Tiffany is not that much different than some of the early conversations we have with our business customers and prospects. Though we are well intentioned, many of us launch into some very deep questions right off the get go.

We are quick to ask these deep and frankly quite “personal” (especially when speaking with small to med size businesses) questions that while your customer won’t likely literally “slap” you like Tiffany did, they sure as hell might want to.

Think about what many of us ask after a few moments of introduction or in our first meeting.

“Are you focused on growth or maintaining your customer base?
“How is the economy treating you, are you guys doing OK?”
“Are you happy with your current supplier?
“What’s the biggest challenge you are facing this year?
“I want to understand your needs better, so I have some questions..”

Should we be asking these questions of our customers? Yes we should. But should we take some time to buy the prospect a metaphorical drink or two and build a little trust and value about ourselves or our company first? Prove we care about really helping the prospect first? You bet. Tiffany would have appreciated it.

This doesn’t have to take too long. It can take as little as a first date but more often than not (especially today in this low trust competitive environment), you shouldn’t ask these types of “personal questions” till you’ve had a few dates or you might get whapped. It’s tough, the pressure is on. You need to perform. Rock Ledger wants to close the deals right quick too, but you saw what happened to him.

You can dance if you want to. And I suggest you do. But dance the long dance version please first.

Till next time,

Grow the Business.

Mark

Thank You Tom Watson

Caught Tom Watson’s likely last walk over the historic stone bridge at St. Andrew’s yesterday. A class act Tom is. And what a thrill he gave us last year at the British Open.

Here’s a look back.

Originally published 7/20/09

***

Thank You Tom Watson

Years ago I heard someone say the difference between soap operas and sports is the “audience” that watches them. At first pass, some might think the point is that one gender likes soap operas or sports more than the other but the point really is that soap operas and sports are so very similar.

In both lie often incredible and transfixing stories.

Susan and I couldn’t take our eyes away from Tom Watson’s golf performance at the British Open this weekend. In the space of 48 hours, we ran a gamut of emotions sitting in our living room and watching this story play out.

And I am so thankful for that.

As I write this a few hours after he lost in a playoff to Stuart Cink on the final day of the Open; I realize how lucky I am to have invested here emotionally. At 59 years of age nearly 25 years removed from his last major championship, Tom held the golf world ( and I suspect a whole lot of new weekend TV converts) captive. Could he be the oldest man to win a major championship? Could this gentleman, this statesman for the game sit atop the golf world once again and live for real, an improbable heroic story?

There was chest tightening nervousness in my living room as we watched him tee off on hole after hole on Sunday. At times we refused to watch some of his short putts (his long time nemesis) for fear of either seeing him miss or like a jinx, by watching we might just influence that putt in a bad way. We literally jumped and cheered when he sank the few birdies he made Sunday and there were tears when we realized he was going to win… and tears again when we realized that he wouldn’t.

It was exhilarating. It was exhausting.

I don’t think it matters much whether your deep emotions come out though a fictional story or a real life story, rather, that they just do. It feels good this collection of intense feelings, a bit like a mental cleansing. It feels good to have all those emotions across such a broad spectrum, be let out.

And who knows, maybe going for a ride on a wild emotional story once in a while has other benefits too. Not for nothing, but after watching that tournament; I went downstairs and had one of the best workouts I’ve had in a long time. I then mowed the lawn in some of the most artistic patterns ever and I swear at my grill, the beer was colder and the cheeseburgers tasted better than they have all summer.

Thank you Tom Watson.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

Drawn In

This post has little to do with work or self development or leadership.

Except, I think, that it does.

******

Why am I so taken by this DVD? It is nearly 6 full hours of the funeral proceedings for a recent US president. And all of it draws me in.

I ran it across it a couple of weeks ago while at the Library and had a chance over vacation to watch it. I spent nearly a day doing so; and don’t regret for a moment that I did. The video is The Reagan Library’s Tribute to Ronald Reagan.

It’s not the man or the politics I am obsessed with. That’s not what draws me in.

It’s the ballet and the precision of color guards that are so much the very essence of these services that draw me in. Even more, it is that beautiful precision interspersed with tightly controlled emotion and tears. That draws me in even further.

It’s the stirring poignant music of choirs and soloists and military bands that draws me in. Even more, it is that all of that music is juxtaposed amongst non-melodic sounds like the 21 gun salute and cannon fire. That draws me in even further.

It’s the speeches from heads of states, childhood friends and former presidents that draw me in. Even more, it is that some of those speeches written with the help of aides and speechwriters while others were seemingly written on a blank sheet of paper the night before. That draws me in even further.

It’s the thousands of people lining the streets watching the procession of family behind the horse drawn carriage that draws me in. Even more, it is that you oddly cannot hear a single sound except footsteps and birds chirping as those thousands of people stand in complete silence. That draws me in even further.

I know what it is. I know why I am so drawn in.

There is no middle ground here. It is a palette of only the brightest and the darkest colors standing apart at times, and then, mixing together.

It’s a place where not only you may cry tears of joy or tears of pain, but you may actually cry both. There is no middle ground.

I’m drawn in when you have to invest and where there are, extremes. The highs and lows in people, places, history and work I think, make it all worth it. And when these extremes are inexorably tied together, I can’t turn away.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

You Got Facts? So What?

It’s not the size of your knowledge that matters, it’s what you do with it that counts.

You see, facts are getting less and less valuable every day. They are just too easy to come by.

I saw two people sitting at a bar the other night playing that trivia game thing; you know the one you pump the quarters into and try and get the highest score. One of them had an IPhone. Fastest animal? No problem, just Google it. Superbowl X Champion? That’s easy…Badda -Bing it. Tallest skyscraper?…Yippy- Yahoo it.

Game over. That was fun. Game means nothing now and so does your score.

Got a new video game for your kid? Most 12 year olds go online, get the Cheatin’ facts and get the game codes. Game over. Good for you that you defeated Tyranna KingZilla, means nothing to me (and really to anybody else either).

Used to be that knowing a lot of facts nobody else knew actually meant something. Meant you were smart. Meant you had value. Not anymore.

If you are the Keeper of the Knowledge, the Knower of All Things or the Encyclopedia of Vital Stuff, good for you except your days of being truly valuable are numbered.

And that’s OK.

Knowing facts or having knowledge all by itself had its day, but that was so yesterday.

You’re a plumber who knows how to fix a leaky faucet. So what? In a heartbeat I can go to ehow.com ( http://www.ehow.com/video_15854_fix-leaky-faucet.html ) and get all kinds of facts by watching a video on how to fix my faucet. You’ll never get my call.
You’re a sales rep who knows every product, every process and every procedure ever created. So what? If you are up against someone who has great sales skills and a good search engine, you’ll get the steak knives and he’ll get the Cadillac.

It’s not about you knowing stuff no one else knows anymore. Your customers and your competition can know pretty quickly what you know as far as facts go. It’s about having the skills to do something with the facts. The skills and applications and ability to seamlessly and proactively use facts to market better, to sell better, to strategize better and to differentiate you from just being a repository of those darn facts.

That’s a good thing.

People and businesses that can do those kinds of things well will grow in value.

So chill a bit about the facts (you can get those so much more easily now) and work on the skills. That’ll make you stronger and nobody for a long time (maybe never) is going to say “so what?” to that.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

You Don’t Know, Jack

“Well Jack, that may be real, but it sure as hell isn’t interesting.”

Interesting how an insult Jack Nicholson received over 40 years ago is so relevant today. The insult was one he deemed the best piece of advice he’d ever gotten. (See extras in The Shining DVD at Netflix)

I think it is great advice for us too.

The “insult turned advice” as Jack puts it, came from a film director back in the 60’s after reviewing Dailies in which Jack (like many actors of the period), performed scenes with great effort on being as “real” as possible on screen. Hey, it was the 60’s and “being real” was where it was at.

“Well Jack, that may be real, but it sure as hell isn’t interesting”

If you are in sales or marketing (and the reality is, we all are), this advice is perfect and a little more of what we need these days. You can be “real” all you want with customers/prospects; stay the course, keep the message clear and lay out the values. You can even do it like you’ve never done it before using YouTube or Twitter or WebEx or whatever, but truth is since everyone else is doing it that way, and you are largely just changing your mediums, that may be just a different kind of real.

And while that might be a different real, it sure as hell isn’t interesting.

And that’s a problem. With all the clutter and all the short attention spans and all the competition, we should worry a lot less about being real, and start to get more interesting.

When you are selling for real, skip the “real”. Sell with a story. Sure, you can lay out the benefits of your product, it’s solving a problem or driving more clicks, or how that new logo can create a lasting impression with a prospect, or you can be interesting and start a “mental movie” in the customer’s mind by saying the same thing but with a story. A story about the prospect that followed the van with the super cool new logo just to see where the business was who owned it, is way more interesting than the customer focus group data about changing a logo. The stories are out there, and they are compelling.

When you are selling for real, skip the “real”. Sell with emotion. Nicholson learned “real” doesn’t work on the big screen, but ‘interesting” does. Make a big deal with whatever it is you are selling and let’s hear the passion in your voice or on your video. Let’s hear the energy about your 5 favorite products as you describe them to your client in breathless, halting, excited tones. Go big with emotion and storytelling when selling, it intrigues and it works.

Assume that camera is filming live as you converse with your client or your media is making its first impression. Your audience is critiquing you.

Don’t be real. Be interesting.

Till next time,

Grow The Business.

Mark

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